Kempegowda International Airport Bengaluru
Surprisingly there wasn't any traffic at all on the way to airport. Each time I felt happy about this, I was equally worried if acknowledging this happiness would jinx it and cause more traffic in the upcoming signal. I sent out a silent prayer and the Gods who control road traffic seemed to have listened to me !!
I don't understand the etymology of the term cake walk. A walk on the cake isn't meant to be an easy one. With each step taken, each leg would get stuck in the creamy layer on the cake. Still, a cake walk refers to something that's extremely smooth, easy and effortless. For the first time in my life, I experienced what it means to have a cake walk when I reached the airport in less than an hour.
For some reason, the Relay store in airport gives me a sense of calmness.
After checking in my luggage, I had Na.Muthukumar's memories accompanying me when I stepped on the escalator towards security check lane. He usually felt claustrophobic and scared inside lift. And his wife was scared of escalators. He used to hold her shoulders when they were on an escalator. His wife felt safe and secure with that shoulder hug. Only he knew the real truth that the shoulder hug was meant to quieten his own fears of the escalator :P
I met a fellow traveller in the waiting area near boarding gate. An elderly lady from Mumbai who lived near Lonawala. I tried initiating conversations with her. I started wondering if I had become an expert in having conversations with strangers or if she was even more reserved than I was.
When I boarded the flight, luckily the seat next to me was unoccupied. I happily sat cross-legged for the entire journey. வேடிக்கை பார்ப்பவனாக நா. முத்துக்குமார் என்னருகில் அமர்ந்து பயணம் செய்தார் :)
(வயதென்னும் ரயில் வண்டி - வேடிக்கை பார்ப்பவன்)
Madurai International Airport (IXM)
ரயில் பயணத்தில் பின் நோக்கி நகரும் மரங்களை வேடிக்கை பார்ப்பதில் இருக்கும் சுவாரசியும் இன்றளவும் குறையவில்லை. விமான பயணத்தில் சில மேகங்கள் உண்மையாகவே நகர்ந்து செல்கின்றன. சில மேகங்கள் வெகு தொலைவில் தன் இருப்பிடத்தில் நிற்க, விமானம் அவற்றைக் கடந்து செல்கிறது. சில மேகங்களின் நிழல்கள் நிலத்தில் வீழ்வதும் பார்க்க மிகவும் ஆச்சரியமாக இருக்கும்.
தமிழ்நாட்டு எல்லைக்குள் பயணம் என்றாலே பேருந்து அல்லது ரயிலில் மட்டுமே சென்று பழகியாதால், விமான பயணத்தில் ஆங்கில மொழியில் மட்டுமே அறிவிப்புகள் கேட்டு பழகி விட்டது (அப்படி ஒன்றும் அதிகமாக பயணங்கள் சென்றது கிடையாது தான்). இருப்பினும் முதன் முறையாக விமான நிலையத்தில் தமிழ் பேசும் மக்களைக் காண்பதும், தமிழில் அறிவிப்புகள் கேட்பதும், பல்லை இளிக்கும் பங்குனி வெயிலுக்கு நடுவிலும் காதுக்கு குளிர்ச்சியாக இருந்தது. சங்கம் வைத்து தமிழ் வளர்த்த ஊர் ஆயிற்றே மதுரை !
A phase of discomforts
I usually enjoy turbulences during flight journey as if it's a ride in the theme park. But this time, there was so much turbulence that made me feel sick.
Ever since childhood, I had this fear of being left alone. I have no concerns being all by myself. But when I'm in a group, I'm always worried if I need to keep giving attendance so that the group wouldn't accidentally leave me alone. The elderly lady I met in Bangalore airport who was also travelling with us - I kept her informed when I had to use the loo and when I stepped outside airport to buy water bottle.
It remains a mystery to me - when a group of strangers meet, how on earth do they get so much energy to talk nonstop about random stuff? It throws me off balance right away.
When we boarded the bus to Thekkady, all I wanted to do was to lean on the window and close my eyes. Most women who had joined us in the trip were at least 50+. I was worried if I am the odd one out in that group. And everyone was from the North. One discomfort started piling up on the other. And when they started discussing about surnames and stuff, I felt so hopeless about the group that I am going to travel with for the week.
To avoid appearing rude, I briefly responded to the questions others had asked me. I had a self talk with myself. I had spent my hard earned money on this trip to enjoy nature in God's own country called Kerala. Why should I allow myself to feel irritated with anything else? At that moment, all I needed was some space to close my eyes to feel grounded within me.
Sometimes, all it takes is a shift of mindset. There were three more people to join us on the way. Little did I know that the four of us were gonna make a gang and roam around together throughout that week.
When conversations flow freely......
Our bus had single seats on the left side and double seats on the right side. I had occupied a double seat almost towards the rear end of the bus, using the window seat for myself and the aisle for my bag, in an attempt to stay away from people.
A lady(in her middle age, from M.P.) boarded our bus after a while. And almost after an hour down the Theni bypass, two more ladies joined us too. The one who sat next to me was a Kannadiga and a Libran, 9 days younger and 9 years elder to me. The way she spoke and the kind of life experiences she had shared, she resembled a close friend of mine. Her friend who sat in the seat behind us, she spoke flawless Tamil. I felt finally relieved to have at least two people to talk with.
When I turned back to talk to the Tamil lady, I instinctively felt something was off, but didn't know what it was. I didn't feel the comfort level I had with the Kannadiga lady. Still conversations kept flowing freely. This lady resembled one of my colleagues too, in the way she is organized and the way she narrated her life experiences.
When the bus stopped near a small hotel near Theni, we got down to have tea. We also had Kuzhi paniyaram. The five of us who occupied the table - the elderly lady I met in Bangalore airport and the three others who boarded the bus later took a selfie and forgot about it totally. While looking back at this selfie towards tail end of the trip, we recognized that it's the five of us who actually sticked together.
Sowmya had lots to talk about her sister who did Ph.D. in Tamil literature. It was a pleasure to talk about how we swiftly travelled from Marudham nilam onto Kurinji nilam within few hours. She also raised a question that if Paalai nilam refers to deserts and TN not having any deserts at all, how would the poems based on Paalai nilam would have been sung. I vaguely remembered N.Chokkan's interpretation on this very same topic (https://youtu.be/fFHCN9iu4_w). "Mullai & marutham nilangal thirindhu varandu Paalai yaga maari irukka kudum" was his interpretation. She said she'll check with her sister and confirm on the same.
The bus could not reach the resort directly. So we had to get down at a nearby place and take smaller jeeps. Vijaya (kannadiga), Aparna (from M.P.) and I sat on the backside of the one of the jeeps. Our wavelenghts matched pretty well. When we reached the resort and rooms were allotted randomly, Aparna and I had to share our room and she gave me a high-five :)
Room mates Introduction
Aparna introduced herself as a business owner. She is running a residential school in M.P for the past `9 years. She asked about me. I didn't want to share about current career break. I told her that I'm a Software Engineer. She immediately asked, "So you do a 9-5 job?". I laughed and told her I have flexible work timings, which seemed like a blessing at first and turned out to be a double edged sword later. Her next response seemed like she was trying to prove that Software Engineering job is relatively less stressful than running a residential school. I could feel her stress and empathize with her. I made it clear that stress is stress regardless of the industry that one works in. But when it comes to making mistakes, in our software field, the impact may not be that huge and we could always correct our mistakes in the next iteration of work. But when it comes to handling young children and teenage kids in a boarding school, cost of each mistake would be pretty huge. Still, she gets to see the impact which she creates in the life of innumerable number of children year over year and the satisfaction that she gets would be unmatchable by anything else in the world. A light bulb got turned on in her eyes when I said these words. She started speaking in a very happy and prideful tone that most of the children who study in her school are from rural background whose parents are illiterate and it's with her team's guidance that many of these under-privileged students had become successful in life.
I didn't realize this when I had this conversation. But now when I look back, every single person on this planet craves for a genuine, heartfelt recognition and validation for the hard work that they put in. Absence of which causes stress and irritable behaviour towards others, blaming,..............
She went to take a shower then. I started exploring the TV channels available and figured out few channels that played Tamil songs. I had kept the volume to bare minimum that my ears could perceive. When she came out, I asked her if she finds the music disturbing. She said it's fine. Her husband liked to watch South Indian movies that were dubbed in Hindi. But she likes to watch content based movies in Netflix. It sounded like a judgement towards South Indian movies. I didn't bother to talk on this further. Sowmya and Vijaya had settled down in their room. Sowmya was struggling to turn on the TV because the Set top box was so very well placed that the remote had to be pointed at a specific angle for it to work. What an amazing feat that I had done by figuring out the precise angle to use and helped her do the same with voice messages transferred over whatsapp (My mind voice - Japan kaaran edha edhayo kandu pudikran :P)
Late night conversation
After dinner, we came back to room and settled down on the bed. We both spoke about our earlier solo travel experiences, and past life experiences both good and bad. She had certain views about the current generation that we prefer independence over commitment. I had to clarify her that it's not a blatant need for independence, rather we feel a little more sensitive and are afraid of getting stuck in a toxic relationship, that's what makes us appear as if we are commitment phobic.
I had few questions to her since she had seen three generations of relationships and marriages. She too admitted that a basic emotional bond is necessary for any relationship to sustain, but after a while it becomes more of parenting than partnership. She spoke about her joint family, how her sons were brought up in a very caring and disciplined way. And how her Mother in law was so supportive that she was able to run this school independently and successfully.
She asked me if I am a brahmin. I said No. And then she asked me if I am a Hindu. I already started feeling uncomfortable with these questions. I just said Yes.
And then she opened up about something I had never anticipated anyone would talk about to a stranger. She even said that she wasn't sure whether she could say it out aloud. And then, she said that people in the north (including herself and her family) don't like Muslims and asked how is it here in the South. I felt triggered instantly. She didn't have the chance to observe the changes in my facial reaction in the darkness of midnight.
I told her that here in the South, each family has its own set of religious beliefs. And we are fine with another person having whatever belief they want to have as long as they don't disturb us. She didn't talk about this subject afterward. Until then she seemed like a sensible person to me. The way she spoke about her school, problems, how she handled things, and all that. But after this conversation, I lost respect for her completely.
Someone who knows how to think and make decisions independently - if she has this opinion, I don't know what to say about those who lack the ability to think clearly. I've never had such a strong reaction towards a stranger. I usually ignore and move on if I don't like what another person says or does unless they are so close to me. Maybe I had witnessed this only as a third person so far from the news and social media feed. This is the first time I'm coming across a person with such a belief during a face-to-face conversation.
Ever since childhood, I was so used to sleeping alone in my bed. I had anticipated the resort would have separate single beds. Unfortunately, they didn't. Sharing it with a stranger felt so much awkward, especially after having this conversation. I walked across the room for a while, sat on the chair for a while and texted a couple of my friends, and finally forced myself to fall asleep.
One of my friends had replied, "It runs in their unconscious script. And I think only people with alignment choose to be born in that place. And people with a liberal mindset choose to be born and function in the south. My own theory. We are what we are fed with. Pona poraanga. Mannichu vittudunga!" and the other one replied "You should have told her Google about Periyar.... " and continued to share her frustrating experiences with the North Indians.
Periyar River Boat Ride & Pink Evening
I had to have a lot of self-talk to process the conversation that happened the previous night. When someone who supports this particular political party spreads hatred so openly, how different I am if I just hate them back plainly? My parents had brought me up with a value system to treat everyone equally and respect people despite differences. Just like me, she had come for this trip to have a break from her stressful work. I may not be able to gel with her effortlessly. That shouldn't stop me from treating her with respect for her age and other qualities. With this self-talk, I got ready for the boat ride.
We had a take a jeep at first and then a bus to reach the river. Once we boarded the double-decker boat, Vijaya sat next to me and Aparna sat with Sowmya. The river water is so clean and pristine (Mullai Periyar river is the source of drinking water for TN). A person from Indian Army's Disaster Management team guided us on Do's and Don'ts. The forest beside the river was pretty dense with plush trees that reminded me of certain events from the book Velpaari that I had read recently. When Sowmya asked if we slept well the previous night, Aparna said that she and I had a long chat that continued past midnight. Sowmya seemed surprised since I was silent most of the times. Aparna said that she was doing most talking and I was asking lots of questions.
I was thoroughly enjoying the early morning sun, trees, birds, animals, and the whole of Mother Nature along the river. The three ladies kept on talking about lots of stuff that sounded random (and a lil noise pollution) to me. After the boat ride, we went to a snacks shop in Kumily and bought freshly made chips and halwa and returned to our rooms. Keeping her belief system aside, she seemed to be a normal lady otherwise.
Pink evening is an event where all the fellow travellers had to wear a pink coloured outfit and introduce themselves to the rest of the group. Maybe it was sleep deprivation or travel tiredness, I started feeling very much homesick and didn't feel like participating in that event at all. I felt like crying for no reason. I forced myself to dress up. I got very late, I managed to reach the group just on time when they were about to take a group pic. Listening to other women share their life experiences and losses made me realize there were people who had it worse than me and still sitting in front of me with so much hope.
Sowmya and Vijaya had asked me and Aparna to join them in playing cards after dinner. So funny they both were that I don't remember when was the last time I had laughed so hard that my cheeks and tummy started to hurt. When we came back to our room to sleep, Aparna shared the same too. This laughter was much needed to lighten things up. My sleep deprivation didn't let me stay awake for long and I slept like a log.
Jeep Safari - Periyar Tiger Reserve
The next morning we went on a Jeep safari to Periyar Tiger Reserve. A whole day safari would have been awesome which covers waterfalls and a lot more places. Though our itinerary included just a 2-hour ride, it was still an amazing experience. The jeep resembled the one that we see in "Senthaazham Poovil" song from Mullum Malarum movie. And I sat on the backside of one of the jeeps and enjoyed early morning snow, sunrise, trees, mountains all the way along as my mind was singing these lyrics with joy "Kaadugal Malaigal Devan Kalaigal".
Everything boils down to perspective. Those who sat on the front and middle seats of the jeep looked at the road ahead. And those who sat on the back seat (the side seated ones), we looked at the rearview of what we have left behind, what we are crossing at the moment and leaving behind as we make progress. It felt like I'm approaching my life too with this perspective. I have seen many friends who are goal-oriented, who have their plans for the next 10 years sorted out. For some reason, my view is on the rear side, on what I had to leave behind and what I'm currently letting go.
There were amazing Viewpoints to drink the nectar of nature. And to enjoy cut mangoes with chilli powder and a glass of Nannari Sarbath.
The guide shared his binoculars to look at a deer at a distant mountain. Though the deer moved away before everyone could get a glimpse of it, once again it triggered memories from Velpaari - my dearest Paari who protected the region called Parambu along western ghats. It also reminded me of one of my very oldest trips to Kerala - there was a region called ParambiKulam. It's on the border between TN and Kerala. And there were tribal people still living in that place. Nostalgia always carries us away when we least expect it ! We also spotted footprints of a deer :)
I didn't bother to interact with anyone all the way. My eyes couldn't capture enough of nature. Though I am the kind of person who enjoys sunsets usually, early morning hours definitely have some magic for sure.
Surprising Conversations
I don't really get why some people are hell-bent on wanting to prove their point. When we started for jeep safari, a lady called Tanya became so restless about having to wait for Sowmya and Vijaya. Since we had two jeeps, I suggested to the organizer that those who want to leave on time can leave with the first jeep while the second jeep can wait for Sowmya and Vijaya to join. She kept silent for some reason and they asked the driver to started the vehicle since we were waiting for around 10-15 mins for those two ladies to join. And they took a cab from the resort and met us in the midway and joined our jeep, while we waited in the mid of nature. It didn't make much difference to me. We could have waited in the resort and have started together as well. Maybe this is the reason it's been widely believed that travelling with someone helps you want to understand them better.
And later that morning, Sowmya was feeling bored and she came to our room to play cards. Aparna started sharing some of the struggles her husband and family had faced during their earliest days. Her FIL was a well known person in their area and when he started leaning more towards politics, he was murdered. This incident happened when her husband was 2-3 year old child. Her husband's aunt took care of their family. She was like a father figure to their family. Later she became a renowned Gynaecologist and married a forest officer. That's when their family had an actual male person for support.
Sowmya spoke about current educational system in India and how she chose a school for her kids that focused more on letting children learn the way they find interesting unlike the schools with ICSE syllabus that focus entirely on exams and assessments where kids don't have any free time at all.
And then Sowmya(whose native is Theni, worked at Coimbatore for a while and settled down in Bangalore now) made a judgemental remark that Chennai people are not welcoming and helpful. My mind froze for a moment not knowing what to respond. My eyes might have over-compensated and I might have stared at her which might have made her feel uncomfortable. She started explaining that there is an initial barrier to be crossed. After that, Chennai people would do anything and everything to help someone. But Bangalore being a cosmopolitan city, doesn't have these barriers. I really couldn't wrap my head around her thoughts. I found it neither interesting nor worthwhile to engage in further conversations with her.
Later that evening, Lina(74-year old lady whom I met in Bangalore airport) shared her love story and how she married her soulmate. After he passed away a couple of years ago, she started giving away all her jewels to her neices. How her MIL who hated during initial years of her marriage, chose to spend more time with Lina than with her own daughter.
Lina asked if I am married. I replied plainly, "I was". I don't know what she heard. She responded, "Ah unmarried, ok". For some reason I didn't feel like correcting her. I just let her continue talking about her college days and fun memories from her life.
Listening to people with entirely different backgrounds share their life experiences definitely helps us learn a lot about life and how those experiences shape a person's character.
Surprising Conversations - Continued
Previous day when I was walking across the trees around our rooms, I suddenly remembered my Meditation Instructor's words that old, tall, big and well built trees communicate wisdom of the universe if we are sensitive enough to listen to them. They communicate to us on how to get closure from our past and what motivates us to walk on our authentic paths in the future. Mr. Suki Sivam gave a speech on Mr.Solomon Paapaiah's new book on Agananooru. He had narrated a similar thought when he was explaining about how Tamil people in the Sangam era were so in tune with nature that they were able to communicate with people who were far away via trees as a medium. I tried connecting to some of the big old trees. It felt good for sure. I really didn't expect to have any magical conversation. I carried on with my walk.
And the next day morning after breakfast, I felt like exploring the bookshelf near the cafeteria. The bookshelf was lying there with no one to tend to. I randomly picked a book and was walking across the empty hall. It's such a soothing activity to walk while reading (ever since school days).
Another lady who travelled with us saw me from outside, she came and spoke to me. She was worried that she left her books at home and she didn't notice this book shelf all these days. I'm terribly bad at holding small talks (aka superficial conversations that serve no purpose). Maybe it's so evidently written on my face that people find it easier to open up to me from their heart. She told that she was living all alone, her mind is filled with way too many thoughts all the time. These days she had been talking to people and having random conversations, but nothing made any sense. I responded "Me Too" giving a smile and a high-five. She gave me a warm hug and said a customary "Love you" as she left the reception with a book in her hand.
This conversation happened when I was about to complete first chapter from the book "The Solitude of Emperors" by David Davidar.
I started going through random pages from the book and these lines resonated so much with me that my whole body shivered for a moment. It felt as though someone was guiding me on how I need to shape my life going forward. Now when I uploaded this image, I realized that the book cover depicts a man looking at trees as if looking for guidance.
While I was going back to my room, I saw the lady who spoke to me a while ago. She was happily reading her book, relaxing on a hammock that was setup between two trees. That book brought a smile to her face which none of the 16 others who travelled with her(including myself) could manage to do.
