Monday, 20 April 2020

Dream Journeys...

She was waiting in the railway station after her college classes got over, looking for train to enter the platform. All of a sudden, a police guy approached her and was trying to take her by force and book under charges for trying to travel without a valid ticket. 

Fortunately, another police person who appeared to be his senior came towards them and asked what was going on. She immediately showed them something that looked like a reservation slip with her full name written in blue pen. The senior police person scolded this guy in front of her for trying to frame innocent people. 

The bad cop looked at her with eyes seeking revenge for the humiliation he suffered because of her. As soon as a train entered the platform, she started running frantically towards ladies' compartment. The train started leaving as soon as she got in. 

She always likes to sit by the window and let the wind hit her face. But she couldn't move to the next compartment since the train already started moving. She made herself comfortable in a window seat that forced her to face the platform where all the ruccus happened a while ago. Though she was not panicked, she didn't want to invite any unnecessary issues. She thanked her protective instinct that made her escape the scene as soon as she could.

But the following day was not very gentle with her as she had anticipated. The bad cop seemed to be waiting for her. She took out her ticket and showed it to him instinctively to avoid any further issues. But he seemed to be not interested in checking her ticket. He threatened her that he could use his power and destroy all the evidences that could prove her innocence. Though she didn't feel like surrendering to him, her instinct made her to beg him to leave her. 

He mentioned something on the lines of boyfriend. She didn't remember what exactly he told her. And she didn't remember anything that she had told him too other than mentioning about Egypt and walking away without giving a straight answer to him.

He called her again. She looked back. He looked very different and much younger compared to the previous day. But his eyes would trigger fear in anyone who dares look into them. He asked her if she is that Egyptian girl friend. She felt a sting of panic for the first time. She cannot afford to get herself into trouble by rejecting him directly. At the same time, she cannot enter into a suicide attempt by agreeing to proposal from a monster like him. 

Escaping from him was her only instinct. Instead of waiting for the train and exposing herself to more danger, she quickly crossed the railway track and reached the main road to look for a bus or an auto.

(To be continued)...

Gratitude

It's around 6pm in the evening. Suddenly wind started blowing faster and dust started spreading along the wind. The flock of birds that were flying towards their nests started getting scattered into different directions because of the sudden wind. After a while, small groups of 4-5 birds were testing the wind current and trying to fly to a nearby safer place and slowly one after the other, smaller groups of birds started making their way.

I am sitting comfortably on my bed and enjoying the wind hitting my face through the window and watching the birds making their way through the sudden change in wind direction and force.

I am grateful to this drizzling rain for making its way through my window capturing my attention, giving a pause to my overthinking mind :)

I am grateful to the safety and comfort that my home provides.

I am grateful to the gadgets, electricity and wifi that keeps me connected to the dear ones and outside world during this lockdown period.

I am grateful to my fully functional kitchen that enables me to cook my favourite food anytime I feel hungry. Someone who had stayed in a hostel or PG can understand how fortunate it is to live in one's own space and make it a home.

I am grateful to all the electronic appliances at home that make my daily life smooth and easy.

I am grateful to my journal and my pen that act as a means to let my inner thoughts pour out effortlessly.

I am grateful to myself for making peace with four people from my past who have caused the most emotional turbulence in my life and opening up myself for new possibilities.

I am grateful to my parents for being themselves.

I am grateful to my work environment which allows me to work from home during this lock down period making me feel secure physically and financially.

I am grateful to the trees that speak to my heart whenever I look outside of my window.

I am grateful to lightning and thunder for demonstrating their solitude and strength.

I am grateful to the sun for providing me strength and assurance on so many days when I felt too weak.

I am grateful to the moon for giving me companionship during many lonely nights.

I am grateful to mother nature for everything.

I am grateful to the entire universe for supporting me every time regardless of my incessant complaints 😋

I am grateful to the support I have received from every single person and thing I have taken for granted and have not acknowledged properly.

Inner peace that was evading me for quite a while has managed to find its way to me finally :)

Sunday, 2 December 2018

Akriti



1

Akriti was at her aunt's home for semester holidays, waiting to step into her third semester in college. Her aunt’s home is the only safe haven she had where she always spent her holidays. Her cousin Deepthi is the main reason and of course, the comfy bed and nice aroma of morning coffee her aunt prepared.

It was a Friday morning. Akriti and Deepthi had planned to watch their favorite actor’s First day First show movie. She was not sure if she had a nightmare or a pleasant dream. Though she had a broken sleep the previous night, she woke up with a smile. Deepthi barged in with her morning coffee.

Akriti exclaimed, “Deep, You got ready so early in the morning!!?”

“We are already late for the movie. Come on. Get ready soon !!”, Deepthi hurried her.

While combing her hair, Akriti suddenly fell out of balance and pressed her palms gently against the almirah mirror for support and balanced herself. She was surprised that instead of her reflection, she saw a small child's reflection pressing his palms with tiny little fingers against hers. It was not just a reflection. She was able to feel the touch. The kid was looking at her with loving eyes. Akriti called her aunt and Deepthi inside. But neither of them believed what she experienced a moment before as Akriti had a very good reputation for playing pranks.


2

Akriti began her third semester college. They had planned to give a Welcome Party to juniors. After having soul satisfying food, she realized that she has spilled food on her favorite dress. She wanted to clean the food stain immediately. None of the hostel rooms was available. She had no other option than to choose the last room down the corridor which was not allotted to anyone in the last few years for no specific reason.

She was checking herself in the mirror and was surprised to see the same kid in the mirror reflection again. The kid pressed his hands against the mirror from the other side. Guided by her instincts she pressed her palm against the mirror and was quite shocked to feel his touch.
She discussed about these incidents with her best friend Ayan. First, he laughed it off thinking it’s just another prank. But sensing her restlessness, he comforted her with his words.


3

She visited her aunt's home again for Deepthi’s birthday. Deepthi had planned a night-out with her friends. Akriti stayed back at home since she was not interested much in night-outs and parties. After Deepthi and her friends have left, it was only Akriti and her aunt at home. It was too cold outside, and she covered herself with a thick blanket from head to toe. In the mid of the night, suddenly she got up from sleep out of the blue and felt some additional weight on her. She slowly removed the blanket a little and saw it was the same kid peacefully sleeping on top of her with a smiling face. Surprisingly, she didn't panic. She drifted into sleep again with a smile.

In the morning she told her aunt of what happened the previous night. To her surprise, her aunt believed her words without any further question.


4

The kid was almost always around her and became a part of her life. Sometimes she talked to him forgetting her surroundings. This made people around her to question her sanity at times.
The kid always wore the same worn out clothes and rugged unclean hair. She miserably failed in all her attempts to make him take a shower. And she didn't even know his name or whereabouts. He never spoke a language that she could understand. But they both shared a launguage which was not verbal and they both could talk fluently in that language without having to make sound or move their lips. The language of the heart it is.


5

Years rolled by a little. She had a decent job. She married her best friend Ayan. She was not yet aware that she was going to pull a new life out of her.

One summer afternoon they were playing in a ground to despite the heat of the sun. Suddenly, the landscape changed. She found herself in a grassland. People around her disappeared into nowhere. Wind was so cold that she regretted forgetting to take a jacket or shawl with her. There was a very tall wall which separated them from the other side of the grassland. The kid asked her to help him climb the wall and jump to the other side. But the wall was too high. She tried her best. On other side of the wall, there stood a man with a small kid in his hands. Both the man and the kid in his hand wore similar worn out clothes and had rugged unclean hair. These three had something in common which confused her. The man raised his hands into a high-five. The kid was uncomfortably sitting on top of the wall, balanced only by her. With difficulty, he tried to give high-five to that man. She lost her balance and fell down to the ground making the kid also fall back next to her after he had gently rubbed his pinky little finger against the man's hand.


6

Akriti had a feeling that life was not as easy and smooth as it was before. Her dad was in town. They both went to an Art Exhibition and were on their way back home. Public transportation was the easiest mode of transport to reach her home. To their surprise, all the services that had operated to her place had been discontinued since that morning and they were not getting any cabs or autos. Finally they managed to find an auto and were bargaining with the driver. Her intuition warned her not to take this auto and that something was fishy. They decided to walk all the way to a nearby junction and then take bus from there to reach home.


7

Many other things happened which made her think something is terribly wrong around her. She expressed her concerns to her aunt, the only person who believed in what she said. They planned to meet a priest who was an expert in identifying and warding off evil energies. Her entire family went there and the room was completely filled. The priest had asked how everyone in the room felt after he was done with some rituals. Others did not feel any difference. But she felt serenely calm. For a moment she doubted herself if whatever happening was a prank which her mind played on herself. Then, she saw an internal door of the room open(which she did not observe all this while) and the same kid was standing there with a terrified look. The kid started running outside without listening to her warning. Akriti got tensed initially but was completely relaxed to see Ayan standing outside the premise and talking to the kid. Out of nowhere there was a cement bench. Though it resembled the kind of thing usually seen in parks, this one was very peculiar. The kid suddenly lied down on the bench and started weeping. The kid saw few tomatoes nearby and starting throwing them on Ayan. The impression made on his shirt depicted a lady being burnt alive.

Though Ayan never believed in super natural things, he realized this has some important message that needs to be conveyed to Akriti. The moment Ayan went inside, the entire environment was shaken. The priest understood what had happened. He explained to Akriti and Ayan that, once upon a time there was a wealthy man who had a caring wife and two lovely kids. Out of greed, he burnt them alive. The cement bench on which the kid was seen crying is the place where their mortal remains had been buried.

Akriti started getting constrictions and had labor pain. She delivered a baby girl prematurely and instinctively wanted to protect her newly born daughter from the evil spirit but she couldn't move an inch. The kid came forward and held the baby girl in his arms. Akriti’s baby girl started talking immediately and greeted him in a strange language which which Akriti couldn’t make sense of. The priest continued with his rituals trying his best to take control of the situation. Ayan went through a life-or-death situation and Akriti’s love and prayers brought him back to life.


8

A few years down the line, Akriti was travelling in a bus with her daughter, enjoying the morning sun and the cool breeze on her face. Suddenly her duaghter was giggling seeing an angel like figure from the bus window. It was the same kid, but now with clean, shiny clothes and neatly combed hair. He was flying in the air with angel like wings. Her daughter wanted to give a high-five to him and was greeting him in a strange language. Akriti playfully hit her daughter's hand not to stretch hands outside the window. She was surprised to see the kid flying towards them. She saw her daughter giving a high-five to her angelic brother with a smile and carried on with her journey.


9

Akriti suddenly got up from sleep. She found herself in her aunt’s home where she usually spent her holidays. She woke up with a smile even though she had a broken sleep the previous night and couldn't tell whether she had a nightmare or a pleasant dream. Deepthi barged in with her morning coffee and informed her that they were already late for the First Day First Show movie they had planned to watch. With a racing heart, Akriti slowly turned her head towards the almirah mirror and stood froze in terror.

Sunday, 20 August 2017

அஞ்ஞாதவாசம்



மகாபாரத இதிகாசத்தில் பாண்டவர்கள் ஐவரும் அவர்தம் மனைவி திரௌபதியுடன் பன்னிரண்டு ஆண்டு வனவாசம் முடிந்த பின் ஓராண்டு அஞ்ஞாதவாசம் சென்றனர். அதன் பிறகு .குருஷேத்ர யுத்தத்தில் வென்று அவர்களுக்கு சொந்தமான நாட்டை மீண்டும் கைப்பற்றி மகிழ்ச்சியாக வாழ்ந்தனர். இதனை ஆங்கிலத்தில் "And they lived happily ever after" என்று சொல்லலாம்.


அந்த ஓர் ஆண்டு காலம் அவர்களின் உண்மையான அடையாளம் வெளிப்படாமல் மாறு வேடம் தரித்து வாழ வேண்டும். பாரத நாட்டின் சக்கரவர்த்தியாக இருந்த யூதீஷ்டிரன் விராடம் என்ற சிறு நாட்டின் அரசனுக்கு அரசியல் ஆலோசனை கூறும் பணி செய்தான். ஆயிரம் யானைகளின் பலம் கொண்ட பீமன் சமையல்காரனாக வேடம் தரித்தான். வில் வித்தையில் தன்னிகரற்ற அர்ச்சுனன் பேடியாக அந்தப்புரத்தில் இளவரசிக்கு இசை மற்றும் நர்த்தனம் கற்பித்தான். நகுலன் குதிரை தொழுவத்திலும்  சகாதேவன் மாட்டு தொழுவத்திலும்  வேலை செய்தனர். சக்ரவர்த்தினியாக மற்றவர்களுக்கு கட்டளை இட்டே பழக்கப்பட்ட திரௌபதி விராட நாட்டு அரசிக்கு பணிப்பெண்ணாக ஏவல்களை ஏற்று சேவை செய்தாள்.


நம்மில் பலர் சமூகத்தின் தேவைகளுக்காகவும் பணியிடம் சார்ந்த காரணங்களுக்காகவும் நம் உண்மையான இயல்பை மறைத்து, நம் ஆத்மார்த்தமான விருப்பங்களை மனத்தின் ஆழத்திலேயே புதைத்து விட்டு ஒவ்வொரு நாளும் அஞ்ஞாதவாசம் மேற்கொண்டு இயங்குகிறோம். பெரும் நிறுவனங்களில் பணி புரியும் என் நண்பர்கள் பலரும் தன் நிறுவனத்தின் பெயர் அச்சிடப்பட்ட டீ-ஷர்ட் மற்றும் ஸ்வெட் ஷர்ட்- ரயில் நிலையம், பேருந்து நிலையம் போன்ற பொது இடங்களில் அணிந்து செல்வதை பெருமையாக நினைப்பதை கவனித்து இருக்கிறேன். நம் ஒவ்வொருவருக்குள் இருக்கும் தனித்தன்மயான அடையாளங்களை தொலைத்து விட்டு, நிறுவனங்களின் அடையாளமாக நம்மை முன் நிறுத்திக்கொள்வதில் என்ன சுகம் கண்டு விட முடியும்?


பாண்டவர்களின் அஞ்ஞாதவாசம் ஏதோ ஓர் ஆண்டில் முடிந்து விட்டது. அவர்கள் தங்கள் உண்மையான நிலைக்கு திரும்பினர். நம்முடைய அஞ்ஞாதவாசம் முடிந்து இயல்பாக உண்மையாக வாழத்தொடங்கும் நாள் என்று வரும்? அதற்கான குருஷேத்ர போர் தினம் தினம் நம்முள் நிகழ்ந்து கொண்டு தான் இருக்கிறது நம் மனதிற்கும் புத்திக்கும் இடையில்.....

Sunday, 28 May 2017

ஆர்வம்

சென்னை புறநகர் ரயிலில் பயணம் செய்தபோது நிகழ்ந்த அனுபவம் இது...


சோகம் தோய்ந்த முகத்துடன் தன் அலைபேசியை என்னிடம் கொடுத்து, "இதுல ராஜேஷ் னு ஒரு நம்பர் இருக்கும். கொஞ்சம் கால் பண்ணி குடுங்க" என்றார்.  ராஜேஷ் என்ற பெயரில் இரண்டு எண்கள் இருந்ததால் அவருடைய எண் எது என்று கேட்டேன். "ரெண்டுமே அவரோடது தான். ஏதோ ஒரு நம்பர் கு கூப்டு மா" என்றார்.


முதலில் அழைத்தபோது 'பிஸி' ஆக இருந்தது அவருடைய எண். சில நொடிகளில் அவரிடம் இருந்தே அழைப்பு வந்தது. அழைப்பை ஏற்று பேச துவங்கியவர், "அய்யோ அண்ணா ஹார்ட் அட்டாக் னு நேத்து அட்மிட் பண்ணோம். இன்னிக்கு எறந்துடாரு ணா " என்று அவர் அழுததை பார்க்க எனக்கே மனம் சிறிது பாரமாக இருந்தது.


ரயில் பெட்டியில் உடன் பயணம் செய்த மற்றவர்கள் "என்ன ஆச்சு என்ன ஆச்சு" என்று கேட்க துவங்கி விட்டனர். அவரும் தன் கணவர் இறந்து விட்டார் என்றும் தன் மகள் மட்டும் மருத்துவமனையில் இருப்பதாகவும் அழுகையினூடே சொன்னார். "ஓ அப்படியா" என்று சொல்லி விட்டு தத்தம் வேலைகளில் மூழ்கினர் மக்கள்.


கூடையில் பழங்கள் விற்றுக் கொண்டிருந்த ஒரு முதிய பெண்மணி மட்டும், "அட அழுவாதே மா. நீ அழுரது எனக்கு மனசு கஸ்டமா இருக்கு. போனவங்கள நெனச்சி அழுதா என்ன ஆயிர போகுது. இருக்க உன் பொண்ணுக்காக தைரியமா இரு"  என்று தேறுதலாகப் பேசினார். அவர் குரலில் இருந்தது உண்மையான கரிசனம்.


அடுத்த வேளை உணவுக்கு நிரந்திரமான வருமானம் இல்லாத ஒருவர் தன் கண் முன்னே கலங்கி நிற்கும் இன்னொருவருக்கு ஆறுதல் கூறுகிறார். யார் வாழ்க்கையில் என்ன நடக்கிறது என்று தெரிந்து கொள்ள விரும்பும் ஆர்வம் மட்டுமே மற்றவர்களுக்கு.


படித்தவர் படிக்காதவர் என்று எந்த பாகுபாடும் இன்றி அடுத்தவர் வாழ்க்கையில் என்ன நடக்கிறது என்று தெரிந்து கொள்ளும் ஆர்வம் நம்மில் பலருக்கும் உண்டு. அப்படியே தெரிந்து கொண்ட பின் அவர்களுக்கு நம்மால் இயன்ற உதவி செய்யப் போகிறோமா என்று கேட்டால் கேள்விக்குறி மட்டுமே மிச்சம்.

Friday, 14 April 2017

பாரதியார் கவிதை - My favourite

தேடிச் சோறுநிதந் தின்று - பல
சின்னஞ் சிறுகதைகள் பேசி - மனம்
வாடித் துன்பமிக உழன்று - பிறர்
வாடப் பலசெயல்கள் செய்து - நரை
கூடிக் கிழப்பருவ மெய்தி - கொடுங்
கூற்றுக் கிரையெனப்பின் மாயும் - பல
வேடிக்கை மனிதரைப் போலே - நான்
வீழ்வே னென்று நினைத் தாயோ?

நின்னைச் சிலவரங்கள் கேட்பேன் - அவை
நேரே இன்றெனக்குத் தருவாய் - என்றன்
முன்னைத் தீயவினைப் பயன்கள் - இன்னும்
மூளா தழிந்திடுதல் வேண்டும் - இனி
என்னைப் புதியவுயி ராக்கி - எனக்
கேதுங் கவலையறச் செய்து - மதி
தன்னை மிகத்தெளிவு செய்து - என்றும்
சந்தோஷங் கொண்டிருக்கச் செய்வாய்...

முதல் பொறாமை



தமிழ்ப் புத்தாண்டு விடுமுறைக்காக பெங்களுரிலிருந்து இன்று அதிகாலை ஐந்து மணியளவில் சென்னை வந்து இறங்கினேன். சென்னை சென்ட்ரல் புறநகர் ரயில் நிலையத்தில் கிளம்பத் தயாராக இருந்த ரயிலில் ஏறி அமர்ந்து எதிர் இருக்கையில் கால் நீட்டி அரை தூக்கத்தில் ஆழ்ந்தேன். நான்கு ரயில் நிலையங்களைக் கடந்து சென்ற பிறகு ஓர் வயதானவர் ரயிலில் ஏறினார். என் எதிர் இருக்கையில் தான் படுத்துக் கொள்ளலாமா என்று கேட்டார். எதிர் இருக்கையில் அவருக்கு இடம் அளித்து என் இருக்கையில் நான் நேராக நிமிர்ந்து உட்கார்ந்தேன்.

இன்னும் சில ரயில் நிலையங்கள் கடந்த பிறகு தூக்கம் தெளிந்து எழுந்து அமர்ந்தார். தான் அடுத்த ரயில் நிலையத்தில் இறங்க வேண்டும் என்றும், தினமும் இப்படி அதிகாலை நேரத்தில் ரயிலில் பயணம் செய்ய வேண்டி இருப்பது சற்று கடினமாக இருப்பதாகவும் சொன்னார்

"வேலை செய்றீங்களா?"  என்று கேட்டேன்.

"ஆமாம். கூட்டிப் பெருக்கிற வேல செய்றேன்"  என்றார்.

"ஆறு வருஷமா கூட்டி பெருக்குற வேல பாக்றேன் !" என்று தான் பார்க்கும் தொழிலை ஒரு பெருமிதத்துடன் அவர் சொன்ன போது மிகவும் வெட்கிப் போனேன்

உலகளவில் மிகவும் பிரபலமான ஒரு மென்பொருள் நிறுவனத்தில் பணியாற்றி, கை நிறைய சம்பாதிக்கும் எனக்கு நான் பார்க்கும் தொழிலைப் பற்றி பிறரிடம் பேசுகையில் ஏனோ அந்த முதியவரின் கண்களில் தெரிந்த பெருமிதம் என்னிடத்தில் இருந்ததே இல்லை எனத் தோன்றியது.


வாழ்க்கையில் முதன் முறையாக அவரைக் கண்டு பொறாமை கொண்டேன்.

Heart's wisdom

Life is much easier when you are blissfully unaware of everything that's messed up about the way the world functions.  But life is kind ...